res·o·lu·tion/ˌrezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/nouna firm decision to do or not to do something.
Every year for about the last 12 years I have made some sort of promise to myself that I was going to lose weight. I would say to myself
“This is going to be the year I change my life.”
The first month would be great.
Hitting the gym 3 times a week, being conscious of what I ate instead of just piling it in. I got this! I was a pro.
2018 would be different.
I started 2018 with a different goal in mind. My promise to myself wasn’t about the numbers on the scale.
It was about becoming healthier not only for me but for my daughter.
My overall health was my goal. Mentally, physically, and emotionally I needed to find myself again – no excuses.
For me, having a good headspace is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
I had become content on where I was in my career. At the last few places I worked I always managing something, from timelines to people, and design strategies, it felt great. But, the lack of time I spent with my family did not.
My last ‘managing’ type job, laid me off due to company restructuring. They had gotten rid of the whole art department.
A month later I was offered a job at a little print shop close to home. I took it because I needed a job. It was going to be a ‘stepping stone’ until I found something better.
The thing is I have never found anything better. In 2018 – I decided that working at that little print shop was my dream job ( besides my fantasy of being a stay at home mom, but I am still working on that).
I have a simple schedule, an easy commute, and I only work with 2 other people. I am doing what I went to school for, and my pay is decent. Above all – I go home and spend time with my family, and I am not bringing work home with me. I can sleep through the night without dreaming of layouts, and worrying about timelines.
My stress level was down, and I had time to start thinking about what was best for me and my family.
2018 my headspace was filled with happy thoughts, and less worry. It was finally time to be me.
With more sleep comes more energy. I made it a mission, to take my daughter to the park at least once a week after work. Most of the time we were there 2 to 3 times a week. Physically chasing her around was hard, I was obese and not proud of it. But moving after a long day sitting at a desk was what I needed.
I started to do some research, on ways to eat healthier, using Pinterest for ideas. I talked to my husband about how we can change our lifestyle towards more healthy eating options. I started making meal plans and sticking to them. We changed as a family.
My husband lost weight and I did not, I gained. I knew I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), that not only made it hard to have kids (it took us 3 years to have our daughter), but it made it hard to lose weight. But gaining weight was not what I had expected.
I started to do some research on weight loss surgery. It just so happens that the little print shop that I work at, does printing for the local hospital, a local hospital with a well-established bariatrics department.
We print the bariatrics booklets for them. I read that booklet front to back three times before I attended their free seminar. At the seminar, I learned the differences between the different surgeries that they perform. I also learned that my insurance would cover the procedure.
On November 7th, 2018, I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy at Henry Ford Hospital in Macomb County, MI.
That day I received a tool to start my weight loss journey that would help me improve my physical health to where I wanted it to be.
I needed support. I had my husband by my side – but sometimes I still felt alone. I knew he loved me, and I loved him. But I felt like I shouldn’t share my frustrations with him, and my challenges – He has a physically hard job, and I didn’t want to burden him more with my troubles. I was wrong.
Yet another mission of mine become more open with my husband. Our relationship has since blossomed and grown even more. He supports me in my journey of becoming healthier, and he shares some of the same challenges that I do. I never would have known unless I had asked or talked to him — he didn’t want to burden me either.
It’s amazing what the little conversations can turn into.
We also started having more nights out just us.
For the first time in a long time, I can look back at the past year with no regrets. 2018 was the year I made myself change.
2019, it going to be even better – its the year of motivation. The year I start things that I always wanted to do. So look out.